She lost her battle: Cancer

My heart is aching today. I was told that a wonderful lady I’ve worked with for 9 years passed away last night – peacefully, with her husband by her side. She was fighting a terrible battle; Cancer.

Last year I knew she wasn’t herself. She was usually so focussed and her attention-to-detail made all the projects we worked on go very smooth.

But there were errors and problems. It was the first time dealing with this. She told me she had the flu. I later found out she was diagnosed with Cancer.

She loved working with me because I knew her projects so well and we could deliver the marketing pieces quickly without her getting stressed. I just read through hundreds of emails. There so many “Thank you so much” words written throughout them.

When I told her about my aspiration to write a book about my abusive childhood, her immediate response was how proud of me she was for speaking up. She wanted to help.

She phoned someone she knew at a book publishing company. She asked her if she would speak to me and help me with some guidelines. I was in tears when she told me. And so grateful.

She did so much for me and she doesn’t even know it. When you speak up and speak out against abuse, it is a difficult thing. I was sensitive before I wrote the book, and now I’m even more so.

Sometimes people don’t even know the little things they do, help. Those random acts of kindness that mean so much to others.

She will never read this. But it’s my little message to say, “Thank you, my friend. You were so wonderful to work with and so very kind. I will miss you with all my heart. Very much.”

Sending my blessings and love to her and her family. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears…
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.
(Ka­tha­ri­na A. von Schle­gel, 1752)

I entrust my spirit into your hand. (Psalm 31:5)


Happy Mother’s Day?

Ah, Mother’s Day. I had such a myriad of emotions. My son was coming home to see me from university. I am a mother. I’ve been a good mother. A protective mother. A loving mother.

But, my mother is still alive. She is alone. She won’t get my “Happy Mother’s Day” wish as she did for over fifty years. She won’t get a card. She won’t get her flowers. She won’t get her hug. She won’t be taken out to dinner. Continue reading “Happy Mother’s Day?”

“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. The media is sensationalizing this.”

So, I just finished watching the documentary At the Heart of Gold, about the gymnastics scandal and sexual abuse from predator Larry Nassar.

I’m pissed!

Why shouldn’t I be? This man is in one word: evil. No conscience. No guilt. No remorse. Thank GOD Judge Rosemarie Aquilina was the judge for this case. She validated every one of the victims’ pain. In his letter, the predator Larry wrote, “I was a good doctor because my treatments worked. Those patients that are now speaking out were the same ones that praised and came back over and over and referred family and friends to see me.” Continue reading ““Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. The media is sensationalizing this.””

Kindness and Giving

No one has ever become poor by giving.” ―Anne Frank

This Easter will not be easy for me. It has been three years not speaking to my mother. And each year has been just fine celebrating Easter with my husband and son. My son has come home from university with friends who couldn’t get back themselves because of the distance with their families. The door has been open with us. We have also had good friends that come as well, but this year, they are in Florida.

My son has an important exam coming up after Easter, so it will be a quiet one for us. Continue reading “Kindness and Giving”

Divine Mother | Secrets

Denying the truth doesn’t change the facts

I am sitting having my coffee listening to my Reiki healing music. The song I am listening to is called, Divine Mother. I am in my living room and have just fed my dogs. Outside the snow is gently falling down. Mystical. I am thinking back to the last three years. It has been almost three years since my mother stonewalled me. Silence.

It was a betrayal, but she won’t see it that way. She will think I betrayed her because I wanted her to speak up and tell the truth about my brother. It never happened. And her silence hurt. I had to pick myself up—brush myself off—and start all over again. Continue reading “Divine Mother | Secrets”

Getting beyond the lies. You are worthy.

We accept the love we think we deserve. —Stephen Chbosky

I have recently pondered a very sad memory. My son played hockey for years.

I am the type of person to let people be. I am a very quiet person, and I trust a few. I am an observer. One time I was at the rink. There was a mother with her little 3-year-old child. The mother was very overweight, loud and opinionated.  Continue reading “Getting beyond the lies. You are worthy.”

The Heroes | The Ones that Help the Children

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.
—Frederick Douglass

I haven’t written a blog post on attachment and how important it is. I have written about the “Attachment Theory” in my book, My Courage to Tell.

It’s an important piece of study. And probably the most important thing that we need to know. Why? A child needs to attach to feel secure. The less attachment, the more insecure a child feels. Continue reading “The Heroes | The Ones that Help the Children”