Set your boundaries! It’s okay to say no.
Holidays? Well, it’s not as easy as it looks for people who are dealing with dysfunctional family members.
Here is a list* that helps many out at this time of year.
- You do not have to go to any holiday events that will hurt you or trigger you.
- You are not obligated to share space with your abusers, no matter what others desire.
- You can decide to leave an event whenever it feels right for you.
- You choose who you hug and who you allow to touch you.
- You do not have to tolerate any comments that make you uncomfortable.
- You do not have to play nice in order to please others.
- You are allowed to choose the people you spend the holiday with.
- You are allowed to set boundaries around conversations, timelines, and people.
- Anything or anyone that reduces your self-worth is not worthy of your time.
- You do not have to do anything for tradition’s sake; some things are meant to change.
It is necessary, and even vital, to set standards for life and the people you allow in it.—Mandy Hale
And more few tips!
- You DO NOT have to feel guilty about any of the above.
You have a right to your feelings.
- You DO NOT need to explain why you feel uncomfortable or say no to any invitations.
No is a complete sentence.
- You DO NOT have to feel that just because you spend holidays alone, it is a sad story. You can cuddle up reading a good book
(My Courage toTell).
- You CAN set a new way of traditions.
Try something new that will be the complete opposite of what triggers you.
- Give! Saint Nicholas who started Christmas went around and helped the unfortunate. That is how Christmas started. Maybe help out at an animal shelter; foster a dog/cat; volunteer at a food bank, hospital or safe house. Do you what you can.
Sending everyone I know peace and love for the holidays. You can do this!
*The Empowered Therapist