Why do people believe abusers – even after found guilty?

Why do people believe abusers?

When I posted this excerpt (below) a few days ago, someone tweeted to me that he thought Bill Cosby was innocent. I blocked him. I just couldn’t get into a social media fight again.

There have been allegations on Bill Cosby since the mid-1960s. He was finally found guilty of his crimes.

Here is the history posted and written by the Los Angeles Times.

All those women. Were they all lying? Really? Continue reading “Why do people believe abusers – even after found guilty?”

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Becoming a WARRIOR

Truth and Courage Win over Fear

“How are you doing today?” True Self asked.

“I’m doing okay, I think,” Fear replied.

“So, why do you have a problem with telling the truth?” True Self asked.

“Because I heard a whole lot of lies growing up that I have to get rid of,” Fear replied to True Self. Continue reading “Becoming a WARRIOR”

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Psychological Abuse is Harmful!

Children who are emotionally abused and neglected face similar and sometimes worse mental health problems as children who are physically or sexually abused, yet psychological abuse is rarely addressed in prevention programs or in treating victims, according to a new study published by the American Psychological Association.

—American Psychological Association, 2014

This quote from the American Psychological Association is front and centre in Chapter 1 of My Courage to Tell.

Continue reading “Psychological Abuse is Harmful!”

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Gaslighting – Are You a victim?

What is Gaslighting?

Don’t pee on my leg, and tell me it’s raining

—Judge Judy

So many people ask me what Gaslighting is. I recently tweeted back to the person who asked, “I told you that in a previous tweet”. Then I said, “That’s Gaslighting.”

I had never sent a tweet before but was simply demonstrating what it can be like. Continue reading “Gaslighting – Are You a victim?”

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Kindness Does Matter

Random Acts of Kindness

How are we to be kind in a world that seems so unkind?

On one of the many visits to my lawyer, I brought in some forms that required a lawyer’s stamp and notarization. I needed to send the forms to New York to start the administration process with my aunt’s estate. I was quite distraught and upset about the whole situation.

My lawyer was unavailable, so I visited another lawyer in the office that I had never met before. The lawyer walked in the room. He asked me what I needed. I started to explain to him about the terrible situation and as I did, I started to cry. I could tell he had some empathy for my situation. He walked out of the room and came back with the stamp to notarize my forms. Continue reading “Kindness Does Matter”

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The Protector

Last night my blood pressure spiked. It was quite high, and I had some pain in my left shoulder. I texted my husband who was downstairs and said that I didn’t feel great. I was worried about what was going on.

My husband came up to bed with the dogs. I showed him where the pain was. Continue reading “The Protector”

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I Cry — Every Day


I recently watched Real Time with Bill Maher and Bill’s last guest was the comedian, Louis Anderson. Bill said to Louis that he heard he cries every day. My ears perked up.

Louis told the story that his mother, who has now passed, protected all eleven children from their abusive alcoholic father, “… she stood between him and us, and she saved us, I mean she deflected, protected and then also fed us…” he said. The conversation leads to a joke about why Louis is so fat. “It’s the elephant in the room,” he said. I laughed so hard. Continue reading “I Cry — Every Day”

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