We accept the love we think we deserve. —Stephen Chbosky

I have recently pondered a very sad memory. My son played hockey for years.

I am the type of person to let people be. I am a very quiet person, and I trust a few. I am an observer. One time I was at the rink. There was a mother with her little 3-year-old child. The mother was very overweight, loud and opinionated.  Continue reading “Getting beyond the lies. You are worthy.”

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.
^{—Frederick Douglass}

I haven’t written a blog post on attachment and how important it is. I have written about the “Attachment Theory” in my book, My Courage to Tell.

It’s an important piece of study. And probably the most important thing that we need to know. Why? A child needs to attach to feel secure. The less attachment, the more insecure a child feels. Continue reading “The Heroes | The Ones that Help the Children”

Why do we self-sabotage?

Ok, I don’t know why it is that we minimize our abuse. It is an interesting phenomenon.

I have written my book on bullying and psychological abuse. I met with psychologists who told me how important it was to tell my story.

I had learned that psychological abuse had long-term effects. I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder because of it. (It is actually Complex-PTSD, but it is not in the diagnostic manual. I have explained this in my book.) Continue reading “Why do we minimize our abuse?”

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.
^{—Frederick Douglass}

It’s harmful.

It is an invisible abuse.

Something not often talked about. But now science is telling us that it is just as harmful as physical abuse.

Oh yes—I think we need to listen to the medical professionals and experts in this field.

I like to research. And for many years I had no idea how this hidden abuse could be so harmful to people.

Childhood Emotional Neglect

Dr. Jonice Webb, author of Running on Empty No More states, “emotional neglect is the silent killer of a child’s spirit.” She also has said that children are born pre-wired with some very specific emotional needs. Dr. Webb has stated in her article, 7 Signs You Grew Up With Childhood Emotional Neglect, “Childhood Emotional Neglect is both simple in its definition and powerful in its effects. It happens when your parents fail to respond enough to your emotional needs while they’re raising you.”

That’s simple enough for me. I had one parent laugh while I was bullied and another who offered no protection because it was always, “You kids stop this nonsense.” Continue reading “Childhood emotional neglect (CEN)— harmful as physical abuse!”

There is a dark side to tickling

Before you read this post, I am going to tell you up front – it may be triggering. This is a story about physical abuse and emotional abuse.

I was tickle tortured. Until I cried. When I complained, I was laughed at. I recently read a post (1988) by Ann Landers. She stated, “I have dealt with this problem before, but tickling is such a well-disguised form of torture that I feel it should be unmasked periodically. Tickling is NOT, repeat NOT, harmless fun. It is a subtle form of sadism.” Continue reading “Tickle Torture”

The long-term effects of ACES

The recent headline of the article posted in The Guardian stated: “How childhood stress can knock 20 years off your life.” 

Anyone who has experienced childhood abuse and neglect might want to know how it can affect them later on in life. The CDC-Kaiser Permanente Adverse Childhood Experiences Study² is one of the largest examinations on child abuse and neglect. Continue reading “Adverse Childhood Experiences”