It hurts! It is manipulative. It is mean. It is silent abuse. It is like being punched in the stomach.
And now studies show that this kind of emotional abuse will have the same chemical reaction in your brain as if being physically hurt.
I lived with The Silent Treatment as a child. Continue reading “The Silent Treatment is Cruel”
Children who are emotionally abused and neglected face similar and sometimes worse mental health problems as children who are physically or sexually abused, yet psychological abuse is rarely addressed in prevention programs or in treating victims, according to a new study published by the American Psychological Association.
—American Psychological Association, 2014
This quote from the American Psychological Association is front and centre in Chapter 1 of My Courage to Tell.
Why? Because we need to start talking about the long-lasting effects of this type of abuse. Below is the research I want to share: Continue reading “Is Psychological Abuse Harmful?”
What is Gaslighting?
Don’t pee on my leg, and tell me it’s raining
So many people ask me what Gaslighting is. I recently tweeted back to the person who asked, “I told you that in a previous tweet”. Then I said, “That’s Gaslighting.”
I had never sent a tweet before but was simply demonstrating what it can be like.
Gaslighting is manipulation and twisting of the truth. In the movie “Gaslight” filmed in 1944, the husband is deliberately manipulating his wife by making her think she is going crazy. She thinks she’s losing her mind. This type of abuse is very sneaky and covert. And it is done on purpose with “intent”. It was actually a really creepy movie for me to watch. Continue reading “Gaslighting – Are You a victim?”
Random Acts of Kindness
How are we to be kind in a world that seems so unkind?
On one of the many visits to my lawyer, I brought in some forms that required a lawyer’s stamp and notarization. I needed to send the forms to New York to start the administration process with my aunt’s estate. I was quite distraught and upset at the whole situation.
My lawyer was unavailable, so I visited another lawyer in the office that I had never met before. The lawyer walked in the room. He asked me what I needed. I started to explain to him about the terrible situation and as I did, I started to cry. I could tell he had some empathy for my situation. He walked out of the room and came back with the stamp to notarize my forms. Continue reading “Kindness Does Matter”
Connecting with Others
I am very grateful that I have had so much support on this journey to of healing.
Don Shetterly is a giver. His blog posts show how much he has given back to help others suffering. Continue reading “You Travel Not Alone”
Last night my blood pressure spiked. It was quite high, and I had some pain in my left shoulder. I texted my husband who was downstairs and said that I didn’t feel great. I was worried about what was going on.
My husband came up to bed with the dogs. I showed him where the pain was. Continue reading “The Scapegoat”
I recently watched Real Time with Bill Maher and Bill’s last guest was the comedian, Louis Anderson. Bill said to Louis that he heard he cries every day. My ears perked up.
Louis told the story that his mother, who has now passed, protected all eleven children from their abusive alcoholic father, “… she stood between him and us, and she saved us, I mean she deflected, protected and then also fed us…” he said. The conversation leads to a joke about why Louis is so fat. “It’s the elephant in the room,” he said. I laughed so hard. Continue reading “I Cry — Every Day”
In Grade 6 It Started
I’d had a little taste of “helping others” when I had helped a boy in class in Grade 6. He was writing holding his pen so hard his hand shook and the letters were completely jagged. I had done the same thing. My hand was so tense when writing; my middle finger got a bump on it. It’s still there today – I will never get selected for hand modelling.
I went over to Brian and held his hand and told him to relax. I guided his hand so he didn’t write with so much tension. His letters started to get smoother. I guided Brian, every day, to help him write better. Helping others gave me a good feeling and I started to learn it was a key to my healing and important in my life. Continue reading “Helping Casey | Helping Others”