Gaslighting: It happens in families

Mental slavery is the worst form of slavery. It gives you the illusion of freedom, makes you trust, love and defend your oppressor while making an enemy of those who are trying to free you or open your eyes!

—Miss Fiyah

When we are born, we look into the eyes of our parents taking care of us, and we trust. We believe they are going to love us, protect us and take care of us.

But, sometimes that doesn’t happen.

Many books have been written about the how some people are not born to be parents. It is very easy to have a child. But it is not easy to parent a child. Continue reading “Gaslighting: It happens in families”

The Cockroach

Once upon, long time ago there was a family of cockroaches. They all liked to spend time together in the dark.

Every morning when the light started to come out, they ran into the dark. They didn’t like the light. They preferred to stay in the dark.

One cockroach decided she would try and see what it was like in the light. She didn’t like staying in the dark. She found it very depressing. Continue reading “The Cockroach”

Bill Cosby Not Guilty? Really?

Why do people believe abusers?

When I posted this excerpt (below) a few days ago, someone tweeted to me that he thought Bill Cosby was innocent. I blocked him. I just couldn’t get into a social media fight again.

There have been allegations on Bill Cosby since the mid-1960s. He was finally found guilty of his crimes.

Here is the history posted and written by the Los Angeles Times.

All those women. Were they all lying? Really? Continue reading “Bill Cosby Not Guilty? Really?”

Is Psychological Abuse Harmful?

Psychological Abuse

Children who are emotionally abused and neglected face similar and sometimes worse mental health problems as children who are physically or sexually abused, yet psychological abuse is rarely addressed in prevention programs or in treating victims, according to a new study published by the American Psychological Association.

—American Psychological Association, 2014

This quote from the American Psychological Association is front and centre in Chapter 1 of My Courage to Tell.

Why? Because we need to start talking about the long-lasting effects of this type of abuse. Below is the research I want to share: Continue reading “Is Psychological Abuse Harmful?”

Gaslighting – Are You a victim?

What is Gaslighting?

Don’t pee on my leg, and tell me it’s raining

—Judge Judy

So many people ask me what Gaslighting is. I recently tweeted back to the person who asked, “I told you that in a previous tweet”. Then I said, “That’s Gaslighting.”

I had never sent a tweet before but was simply demonstrating what it can be like.

Gaslighting is manipulation and twisting of the truth. In the movie “Gaslight” filmed in 1944, the husband is deliberately manipulating his wife by making her think she is going crazy. She thinks she’s losing her mind. This type of abuse is very sneaky and covert. And it is done on purpose with “intent”. It was actually a really creepy movie for me to watch. Continue reading “Gaslighting – Are You a victim?”

Kindness Does Matter

Random Acts of Kindness

How are we to be kind in a world that seems so unkind?

On one of the many visits to my lawyer, I brought in some forms that required a lawyer’s stamp and notarization. I needed to send the forms to New York to start the administration process with my aunt’s estate. I was quite distraught and upset about the whole situation.

My lawyer was unavailable, so I visited another lawyer in the office that I had never met before. The lawyer walked in the room. He asked me what I needed. I started to explain to him about the terrible situation and as I did, I started to cry. I could tell he had some empathy for my situation. He walked out of the room and came back with the stamp to notarize my forms. Continue reading “Kindness Does Matter”