The Heroes | The Ones that Help the Children

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.
—Frederick Douglass

I haven’t written a blog post on attachment and how important it is. I have written about the “Attachment Theory” in my book, My Courage to Tell.

It’s an important piece of study. And probably the most important thing that we need to know. Why? A child needs to attach to feel secure. The less attachment, the more insecure a child feels.

It really shouldn’t even be something that we need to talk about. But it seems that we have forgotten how important babies and children are.

Psychologists will tell you that the quality of love, from at least one primary caregiver, for a child up to three-years-old, will have a tremendous impact on that youngster. In 1969, psychologist John Bowlby developed the term the “Attachment Theory”. The theory emphasizes that a strong emotional and physical attachment is critical to a child’s growth in early years. The attachment gives the child security and a solid foundation. Without those attachments, children will become fearful. Anxious.

When I hear stories of teachers or grandparents stepping up and stopping the cycle of abuse, I call them heroes. Because they have saved a child. They have given that child hope, security, protection and love. I had no protection as a child. Being diagnosed with Complex PTSD showed me the long-lasting effects of child abuse and neglect.

I believe once our society starts to understand the importance of childhood, attachment and long-term effects, we will start to see more empathy in our world.

The World Health Organization has agreed that the first 1,000 days of a child’s life is critical.

The science of early brain development can inform investments in early childhood. These basic concepts, established over decades of neuroscience and behavioral research, help illustrate why child development—particularly from birth to five years—is a foundation for a prosperous and sustainable society.—Center on the Developing Child, Harvard University

Let’s get it together and deal with the real issues.


My Courage to Tell is now available on Amazon.

Singing! How it helps heal.

Singing gave me enormous confidence. I could stand on stage, and I had no fear. I was no longer that child hiding in my closet.

—My Courage To Tell

I read recently how much music has an effect on us. Some more than others. I know it did for me.

When I was in my 20s, I sang. It was a very important time in my life. I had come a long way from hiding in my closet when I was a child. Continue reading “Singing! How it helps heal.”

What is Conduct Disorder and Oppositional Defiant Disorder?

If you are reading this, you may be interested in what CD and ODD are. First I want to very clear; I do not know if anyone in my family has a “disorder”. There has not been a diagnosis and I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist who can make these determinations.

Do I have my own suppositions? Yes. I certainly do. And I do not talk about those publically. I do talk about concerning behaviours that I have witnessed. And I leave each individual to make their own determination. We are all entitled to our own opinions. Continue reading “What is Conduct Disorder and Oppositional Defiant Disorder?”

Trauma from Childhood: It’s a Slow Process

It’s Slow. But I am Healing!

As most of you know from following me and my blog, I have been dealing with C-PTSD, anxiety and panic attacks as a result of dealing with old buried trauma from my childhood. I am working through deep-rooted trauma from years ago.

So along with that, I need to realize that there are many changes going on in my life. When things go wrong, I start to feel anxiety and panic. Continue reading “Trauma from Childhood: It’s a Slow Process”

Why do we minimize our abuse?

Why do we self-sabotage?

Ok, I don’t know why it is that we minimize our abuse. It is an interesting phenomenon.

I have written my book on bullying and psychological abuse. I met with psychologists who told me how important it was to tell my story.

I had learned that psychological abuse had long-term effects. I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder because of it. (It is actually Complex-PTSD, but it is not in the diagnostic manual. I have explained this in my book.) Continue reading “Why do we minimize our abuse?”

Anti-Semitism is on the rise. What the fu*k?

In spite of all the terrible things that happened to me, I did not allow Hitler to make me feel less than human. I had been raised well and I knew who I was. My strategy was not to allow myself to hate. I knew I could be consumed by such hate”
― Jack Mandelbaum

I watched the news last night. I heard something alarming. “One-third” of Europeans have no knowledge of the Holocaust. I heard that one-tenth of Americans had no knowledge of it either.

What the fu*k? Are you kidding me? Continue reading “Anti-Semitism is on the rise. What the fu*k?”

Volunteering in dog rescue: Zowie

Volunteering to help abused dogs has been one of my biggest accomplishments in life.

I have been blessed to work in different roles for a rescue organization. It is not about ego for me. It is about seeing neglected and abused animals come into the hands of wonderful and caring people and get rehabilitated to live successful lives. Maybe it’s therapeutic. I see it that way.

Getting calls from people surrendering a dog, arranging a behavioural analysis and finding a foster home was my first role. I enjoyed it greatly. After the dog was in foster care for a certain amount of time, it could be adopted out. I would cry hearing how the pups would travel home and live out the rest of their days in complete happiness and bliss. Continue reading “Volunteering in dog rescue: Zowie”

My Rescue Story with Bo

Rescue is part of my healing

Going to bed. Thousand kisses. Waking up. Thousand kisses. Bo, our latest rescue, is very grateful for his new life.

When my rescue cat passed away suddenly a few years ago, my husband and I were devastated. Buddy came from dire circumstances. I told my husband how much I needed to rescue another animal.

“I can’t. I just can’t handle it anymore,” James said. Buddy meant the world to him.

I guess I ignored my husband; I started looking for our next rescue right away. I thought that if I could find the right rescue mission, James’ heart would melt. Continue reading “My Rescue Story with Bo”