Standing there was my brother with one of my mother’s cooking pots sitting on our picnic table. It was full of water. My brother was standing over the pot with a knife in his hand. His other hand was holding some kind of skin. —My Courage to Tell Breaking the Silence: Why Minimizing Abuse Keeps […]
Category: Dysfunctional Family
The Scapegoat
One person is chosen to bear the brunt of any psychological discomfort experienced by the family as a whole. —Sarah Swenson, MA, LMHC The scapegoat carries the burdens of the family. Are you the scapegoat in your family? The word scapegoat comes from an ancient story in the Old Testament, Leviticus 16. In it, two […]
Childhood Emotional Neglect
It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. —Frederick Douglass Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN): The Invisible Wound When we think of childhood abuse, we often picture something visible—yelling, hitting, or outright cruelty. But there is another kind of abuse, one that leaves no bruises, yet cuts just as deep: Childhood Emotional […]
Tickle Torture
“TICKLE TORTURE!” he screamed, diving on me without warning. I struggled, but he was stronger, older, angrier. He pinned my arms above my head with one hand while the other attacked my ribs. I was laughing—my body’s involuntary response—but also screaming, begging him to stop. “Say I’m the greatest,” he demanded, his eyes bright with […]
Divine Mother | Secrets
With insecure attachments, a child unwittingly memorizes the precise lesson of that troubled relationship: that love is suffocation, that anger is terrifying, that dependence is humiliating, or one of a million crippling variations. —Peg Streep Denying the truth doesn’t change the facts I am sitting having my coffee listening to my Reiki healing music. The […]
Gaslighting. Simple Evil.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or in members of a targeted group, making them question their own memory, perception, and sanity. wikipedia Gaslighting is Simply Evil. So many people ask me what Gaslighting is. I recently tweeted back to the […]
Lies. Lies. Lies.
Behaviorally, we show that the extent to which participants engage in self-serving dishonesty increases with repetition. LIES. When someone deliberately lies to hurt… Science! Brain scans! Dishonesty begins early. This is all is very interesting to me. Studies now show how lying begins early and I get that! I was a victim of “lies” upon “lies” […]
The Silent Treatment is Cruel
I tried to explain how hurt I was. Just like when we were kids, I was trying to get my mother to hear me. She refused to listen to me. Refused to empathize with me. Here I was, a grown-up woman, and the same thing was happening. No reply. Silence. —My Courage to Tell The […]
Cry | Every Day
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ Eleanor Roosevelt Crying I recently watched Real Time with Bill Maher and Bill’s last guest […]
Attachment
The greatest damage done by neglect, trauma or emotional loss is not the immediate pain they inflict but the long-term distortions they induce in the way a developing child will continue to interpret the world and her situation in it. —Dr. Gabor Mate Attachment Theory It is easier to build strong children than to repair […]