The greatest damage done by neglect, trauma or emotional loss is not the immediate pain they inflict but the long-term distortions they induce in the way a developing child will continue to interpret the world and her situation in it. —Dr. Gabor Mate Attachment: The Foundation We Cannot Afford to Ignore It is easier to […]
I tried to explain how hurt I was. Just like when we were kids, I was trying to get my mother to hear me. She refused to listen to me. Refused to empathize with me. Here I was, a grown-up woman, and the same thing was happening. No reply. Silence. —My Courage to Tell The […]
Children of emotionally unreliable mothers who may appear caring one moment and then unavailable the next—leaving the child in a quandary about whether the Good Mommy or the Bad one will show up— also pull back at the first sign of discord. These children use withdrawal as a way of self-protection and grow up to […]
Behaviorally, we show that the extent to which participants engage in self-serving dishonesty increases with repetition. LIES: When Someone Deliberately Lies to Hurt Science. Brain scans. Dishonesty begins early. We all lie. Sometimes we tell a little white lie to spare someone’s feelings. Sometimes we exaggerate, leave something out, or tell a child a harmless […]
Standing there was my brother with one of my mother’s cooking pots sitting on our picnic table. It was full of water. My brother was standing over the pot with a knife in his hand. His other hand was holding some kind of skin. —My Courage to Tell Breaking the Silence: Why Minimizing Abuse Keeps […]
One person is chosen to bear the brunt of any psychological discomfort experienced by the family as a whole. —Sarah Swenson, MA, LMHC The scapegoat carries the burdens of the family. Are you the scapegoat in your family? The word scapegoat comes from an ancient story in the Old Testament, Leviticus 16. In it, two […]
It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. —Frederick Douglass Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN): The Invisible Wound When we think of childhood abuse, we often picture something visible—yelling, hitting, or outright cruelty. But there is another kind of abuse, one that leaves no bruises, yet cuts just as deep: Childhood Emotional […]
“TICKLE TORTURE!” he screamed, diving on me without warning. I struggled, but he was stronger, older, angrier. He pinned my arms above my head with one hand while the other attacked my ribs. I was laughing—my body’s involuntary response—but also screaming, begging him to stop. “Say I’m the greatest,” he demanded, his eyes bright with […]
With insecure attachments, a child unwittingly memorizes the precise lesson of that troubled relationship: that love is suffocation, that anger is terrifying, that dependence is humiliating, or one of a million crippling variations. —Peg Streep Denying the truth doesn’t change the facts I am sitting having my coffee listening to my Reiki healing music. The […]
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or in members of a targeted group, making them question their own memory, perception, and sanity. wikipedia Gaslighting is Simply Evil. So many people ask me what Gaslighting is. I recently tweeted back to the […]
