Why do we minimize our abuse?

Why do we self-sabotage?

Ok, I don’t know why it is that we minimize our abuse. It is an interesting phenomenon.

I have written my book on bullying and psychological abuse. I met with psychologists who told me how important it was to tell my story.

I had learned that psychological abuse had long-term effects. I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder because of it. (It is actually Complex-PTSD, but it is not in the diagnostic manual. I have explained this in my book.) Continue reading “Why do we minimize our abuse?”

Anti-Semitism is on the rise. This must stop!

In spite of all the terrible things that happened to me, I did not allow Hitler to make me feel less than human. I had been raised well and I knew who I was. My strategy was not to allow myself to hate. I knew I could be consumed by such hate.
― Jack Mandelbaum

I watched the news last night. I heard something alarming. “One-third” of Europeans have no knowledge of the Holocaust. I heard that one-tenth of Americans had no knowledge of it either.

Are you kidding me? Continue reading “Anti-Semitism is on the rise. This must stop!”

Volunteering in dog rescue: Zowie

Volunteering to help abused dogs has been one of my biggest accomplishments in life.

I have been blessed to work in different roles for a rescue organization. It is not about ego for me. It is about seeing neglected and abused animals come into the hands of wonderful and caring people and get rehabilitated to live successful lives. Maybe it’s therapeutic. I see it that way.

Getting calls from people surrendering a dog, arranging a behavioural analysis and finding a foster home was my first role. I enjoyed it greatly. After the dog was in foster care for a certain amount of time, it could be adopted out. I would cry hearing how the pups would travel home and live out the rest of their days in complete happiness and bliss. Continue reading “Volunteering in dog rescue: Zowie”

My Rescue Story with Bo

Rescue is part of my healing

Going to bed. Thousand kisses. Waking up. Thousand kisses. Bo, our latest rescue, is very grateful for his new life.

When my rescue cat passed away suddenly a few years ago, my husband and I were devastated. Buddy came from dire circumstances. I told my husband how much I needed to rescue another animal.

“I can’t. I just can’t handle it anymore,” James said. Buddy meant the world to him.

I guess I ignored my husband; I started looking for our next rescue right away. I thought that if I could find the right rescue mission, James’ heart would melt. Continue reading “My Rescue Story with Bo”

Childhood emotional neglect (CEN)— harmful as physical abuse!

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.
—Frederick Douglass

It’s harmful.

It is an invisible abuse.

Something not often talked about. But now science is telling us that it is just as harmful as physical abuse.

Oh yes—I think we need to listen to the medical professionals and experts in this field.

I like to research. And for many years I had no idea how this hidden abuse could be so harmful to people.

Childhood Emotional Neglect

Dr. Jonice Webb, author of Running on Empty No More states, “emotional neglect is the silent killer of a child’s spirit.” She also has said that children are born pre-wired with some very specific emotional needs. Dr. Webb has stated in her article, 7 Signs You Grew Up With Childhood Emotional Neglect, “Childhood Emotional Neglect is both simple in its definition and powerful in its effects. It happens when your parents fail to respond enough to your emotional needs while they’re raising you.”

That’s simple enough for me. I had one parent laugh while I was bullied and another who offered no protection because it was always, “You kids stop this nonsense.” Continue reading “Childhood emotional neglect (CEN)— harmful as physical abuse!”

Tickle Torture

There is a dark side to tickling

Before you read this post, I am going to tell you up front – it may be triggering. This is a story about physical abuse and emotional abuse.

I was tickle tortured. Until I cried. When I complained, I was laughed at. I recently read a post (1988) by Ann Landers. She stated, “I have dealt with this problem before, but tickling is such a well-disguised form of torture that I feel it should be unmasked periodically. Tickling is NOT, repeat NOT, harmless fun. It is a subtle form of sadism.” Continue reading “Tickle Torture”

Letter to my abuser

To those who abuse: the sin is yours, the crime is yours and the shame is yours. To those who protect the perpetrators: blaming the victim only masks the evil within, making you as guilty as those who abuse. Stand up for the innocent or go down with the rest.

—Flora Jessop

We cannot be complicit. We must always take a stand.

Choosing to stay silent, is a choice. And it is not a good choice when it comes to witnessing bullying and abuse. It is abuse in an of itself.

Winston Churchill, the man who stood up to evil itself, Adolf Hitler in WWII, said, “You’ve got enemies, good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”

I had people in my life that chose to witness the abuse—and chose to ignore it. Enable it. It continues to this day. But I will not stand for it! Continue reading “Letter to my abuser”

Adverse Childhood Experiences

The long-term effects of ACES

The recent headline of the article posted in The Guardian stated: How childhood stress can knock 20 years off your life.” 

Anyone who has experienced childhood abuse and neglect might want to know how it can affect them later on in life. The CDC-Kaiser Permanente Adverse Childhood Experiences Study2 is one of the largest examinations on child abuse and neglect. Continue reading “Adverse Childhood Experiences”

Have you met a person who can’t stop lying?

Dishonesty. It begins early.

Science! Brain scans!

This is all is very interesting to me. Studies now show how lying begins early and I get that! I was a victim of “lies” upon “lies” when I was a child. It made me feel like I was going insane.

We all tell little white lies. I watched a seven-minute video interview with Dr. Phil and Megan Kelly on lying (below). We all lie. But what about the manipulative liars? What about the people that deliberately lie?

Every parent needs to know that a child’s brain is developing until they are six years old. Now science is showing how the brain adapts to the lying. There has been a large body of research to back this up, and I recently saw a study called “The brain adapts to dishonesty“. Continue reading “Have you met a person who can’t stop lying?”