My Rescue Story with Bo

Rescue is part of my healing

Going to bed. Thousand kisses. Waking up. Thousand kisses. Bo, our latest rescue, is very grateful for his new life.

When my rescue cat passed away suddenly a few years ago, my husband and I were devastated. Buddy came from dire circumstances. I told my husband how much I needed to rescue another animal.

“I can’t. I just can’t handle it anymore,” James said. Buddy meant the world to him.

I guess I ignored my husband; I started looking for our next rescue right away. I thought that if I could find the right rescue mission, James’ heart would melt. Continue reading “My Rescue Story with Bo”

Childhood emotional neglect (CEN)— harmful as physical abuse!

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.
—Frederick Douglass

It’s harmful.

It is an invisible abuse.

Something not often talked about. But now science is telling us that it is just as harmful as physical abuse.

Oh yes—I think we need to listen to the medical professionals and experts in this field.

I like to research. And for many years I had no idea how this hidden abuse could be so harmful to people.

Childhood Emotional Neglect

Dr. Jonice Webb, author of Running on Empty No More states, “emotional neglect is the silent killer of a child’s spirit.” She also has said that children are born pre-wired with some very specific emotional needs. Dr. Webb has stated in her article, 7 Signs You Grew Up With Childhood Emotional Neglect, “Childhood Emotional Neglect is both simple in its definition and powerful in its effects. It happens when your parents fail to respond enough to your emotional needs while they’re raising you.”

That’s simple enough for me. I had one parent laugh while I was bullied and another who offered no protection because it was always, “You kids stop this nonsense.” Continue reading “Childhood emotional neglect (CEN)— harmful as physical abuse!”

Tickle Torture

There is a dark side to tickling

Before you read this post, I am going to tell you up front – it may be triggering. This is a story about physical abuse and emotional abuse.

I was tickle tortured. Until I cried. When I complained, I was laughed at. I recently read a post (1988) by Ann Landers. She stated, “I have dealt with this problem before, but tickling is such a well-disguised form of torture that I feel it should be unmasked periodically. Tickling is NOT, repeat NOT, harmless fun. It is a subtle form of sadism.” Continue reading “Tickle Torture”

Letter to my abuser

To those who abuse: the sin is yours, the crime is yours and the shame is yours. To those who protect the perpetrators: blaming the victim only masks the evil within, making you as guilty as those who abuse. Stand up for the innocent or go down with the rest.

—Flora Jessop

We cannot be complicit. We must always take a stand.

Choosing to stay silent, is a choice. And it is not a good choice when it comes to witnessing bullying and abuse. It is abuse in an of itself.

Winston Churchill, the man who stood up to evil itself, Adolf Hitler in WWII, said, “You’ve got enemies, good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”

I had people in my life that chose to witness the abuse—and chose to ignore it. Enable it. It continues to this day. But I will not stand for it! Continue reading “Letter to my abuser”

Adverse Childhood Experiences

The long-term effects of ACES

The recent headline of the article posted in The Guardian stated: How childhood stress can knock 20 years off your life.” 

Anyone who has experienced childhood abuse and neglect might want to know how it can affect them later on in life. The CDC-Kaiser Permanente Adverse Childhood Experiences Study2 is one of the largest examinations on child abuse and neglect. Continue reading “Adverse Childhood Experiences”

Have you met a person who can’t stop lying?

Dishonesty. It begins early.

Science! Brain scans!

This is all is very interesting to me. Studies now show how lying begins early and I get that! I was a victim of “lies” upon “lies” when I was a child. It made me feel like I was going insane.

We all tell little white lies. I watched a seven-minute video interview with Dr. Phil and Megan Kelly on lying (below). We all lie. But what about the manipulative liars? What about the people that deliberately lie?

Every parent needs to know that a child’s brain is developing until they are six years old. Now science is showing how the brain adapts to the lying. There has been a large body of research to back this up, and I recently saw a study called “The brain adapts to dishonesty“. Continue reading “Have you met a person who can’t stop lying?”

Gaslighting: It happens in families

Mental slavery is the worst form of slavery. It gives you the illusion of freedom, makes you trust, love and defend your oppressor while making an enemy of those who are trying to free you or open your eyes!

—Miss Fiyah

When we are born, we look into the eyes of our parents taking care of us, and we trust. We believe they are going to love us, protect us and take care of us.

But, sometimes that doesn’t happen.

Many books have been written about the how some people are not born to be parents. It is very easy to have a child. But it is not easy to parent a child. Continue reading “Gaslighting: It happens in families”

The Cockroach

Once upon, long time ago there was a family of cockroaches. They all liked to spend time together in the dark.

Every morning when the light started to come out, they ran into the dark. They didn’t like the light. They preferred to stay in the dark.

One cockroach decided she would try and see what it was like in the light. She didn’t like staying in the dark. She found it very depressing. Continue reading “The Cockroach”

Bill Cosby Not Guilty? Really?

Why do people believe abusers?

When I posted this excerpt (below) a few days ago, someone tweeted to me that he thought Bill Cosby was innocent. I blocked him. I just couldn’t get into a social media fight again.

There have been allegations on Bill Cosby since the mid-1960s. He was finally found guilty of his crimes.

Here is the history posted and written by the Los Angeles Times.

All those women. Were they all lying? Really? Continue reading “Bill Cosby Not Guilty? Really?”