Denying the truth doesn’t change the facts
I am sitting having my coffee listening to my Reiki healing music. The song I am listening to is called, Divine Mother. I am in my living room and have just fed my dogs. Outside the snow is gently falling down. Mystical. I am thinking back to the last three years. It has been almost three years since my mother stonewalled me. Silence.
It was a betrayal, but she won’t see it that way. She will think I betrayed her because I wanted her to speak up and tell the truth about my brother. It never happened. And her silence hurt. I had to pick myself up—brush myself off—and start all over again.
I wonder if I should have named my book “A Mother’s Betrayal” as that is really what drove me to write it. Just recently I watched a video from Marilyn Van Derbur. She was a former Miss America pageant holder, a very successful woman, who eventually had a nervous breakdown from keeping “the secret”. Her father had sexually molested her as a child.
I wrote Marilyn and she replied to my email. She said that yes, her mother’s betrayal was the most hurtful. More than her father’s abuse.
Continuing the lie
My mother’s birthday just passed. I thought of her in her 80s, and continuing the lie. At this point—after all my therapy, all my writing, all my crying, all my loving my inner child—all I can do is shake my head.
Sadly, as I continue on my journey, I realize by hearing other’s stories, this is a common theme. In abusive families—there is a protection of the abuser.
So, if you are thinking of confronting family members, I will advise you that you must be prepared for a rebuttal.
But you will have your inner child. You will honour your True Self.