Sexual Abuse

Survivors of atrocity of every age and every culture come to a point in their testimony where all questions are reduced to one, spoken more in bewilderment than in outrage: Why? The answer is beyond human understanding.”

― Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence–From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror

No more secrets!

So, I just finished watching the documentary At the Heart of Gold, about the gymnastics scandal and sexual abuse from predator Larry Nassar.

I’m pissed!

Why shouldn’t I be? This man is in one word: evil. No conscience. No guilt. No remorse. Thank GOD Judge Rosemarie Aquilina was the judge for this case. She validated every one of the victims’ pain. In his letter, the predator Larry wrote, “I was a good doctor because my treatments worked. Those patients that are now speaking out were the same ones that praised and came back over and over and referred family and friends to see me.”

Is your blood boiling? It should be.

We need to start getting angry!  Yes, I think mindfulness and prayer are important. They are important because they help victims get over abuse! They help us overcome the “nasties” of this world.

But we need to start getting furious at the wrongdoing in this world today. Turn anger into action. No more turning a blind eye.

We cannot become numb. We just can’t. It is our responsibility to do something. Too many people are suffering. Sexual abuse is far too prevalent.

My only criticism in this movie is the end. The moral of this story is to “listen to your children” when they tell you that they are not comfortable with someone. I completely agree.

But here is what I would have like to have heard:

When your child is 5 years old, tell them that their privates are their privates. They must know it is abuse in the first place. It is okay to talk to our children about their private areas and say, “No one is to touch this. It is something that is very private and if they do, please talk to me. You have done nothing wrong.

I was glad to have email communications with Marilyn Van Derbur. She was Miss Colorado 1957 and Miss America pageant holder in 1958. She was sexually abused by her father in her childhood. And her advice is what I have written. I whole-heartedly agree!

We are getting there. Every movie, every time someone speaks up against abuse, every letter, every tweet, every blog post, every book!