With insecure attachments, a child unwittingly memorizes the precise lesson of that troubled relationship: that love is suffocation, that anger is terrifying, that dependence is humiliating, or one of a million crippling variations. —Peg Streep Denying the truth doesn’t change the facts I am sitting having my coffee listening to my Reiki healing music. The […]
Category: Dysfunctional Family
Gaslighting. Simple Evil.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or in members of a targeted group, making them question their own memory, perception, and sanity. wikipedia Gaslighting is Simply Evil. So many people ask me what Gaslighting is. I recently tweeted back to the […]
Lies. Lies. Lies.
Behaviorally, we show that the extent to which participants engage in self-serving dishonesty increases with repetition. LIES. When someone deliberately lies to hurt… Science! Brain scans! Dishonesty begins early. This is all is very interesting to me. Studies now show how lying begins early and I get that! I was a victim of “lies” upon “lies” […]
Tickle Torture
“TICKLE TORTURE!” my brother screamed. He held me down. I struggled to get away. “Stop!” “Tickle torture,” he laughed. He held down both my arms with his one hand above my head. I struggled to get away. He had his other arm free. He tickled me. I shrieked! I was laughing but screaming. “STOP IT!” […]
The Silent Treatment is Cruel
I tried to explain how hurt I was. Just like when we were kids, I was trying to get my mother to hear me. She refused to listen to me. Refused to empathize with me. Here I was, a grown-up woman, and the same thing was happening. No reply. Silence. —My Courage to Tell The […]
The Scapegoat
One person is chosen to bear the brunt of any psychological discomfort experienced by the family as a whole. —Sarah Swenson, MA, LMHC The scapegoat carries the burdens of the family. Are you the scapegoat in your family? The story is from the Bible in the Old Testament, Leviticus 16. It is a story of […]
Cry | Every Day
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ Eleanor Roosevelt Crying I recently watched Real Time with Bill Maher and Bill’s last guest […]
Don’t Minimize Your Abuse
Standing there was my brother with one of my mother’s cooking pots sitting on our picnic table. It was full of water. My brother was standing over the pot with a knife in his hand. His other hand was holding some kind of skin. —My Courage to Tell Why do we self-sabotage? I don’t know […]
Attachment
The greatest damage done by neglect, trauma or emotional loss is not the immediate pain they inflict but the long-term distortions they induce in the way a developing child will continue to interpret the world and her situation in it. —Dr. Gabor Mate Attachment Theory It is easier to build strong children than to repair […]
Rise Above the Lies
Instead of promoting healthy development, they unconsciously undermine it, often with the belief that they are acting in their child’s best interest. —Dr. Susan Forward Getting beyond the lies. You are worthy. I have recently pondered a very sad memory. My son played hockey for years. I am the type of person to let people […]